Welcome To Fight Club.
The liberator who destroyed my property has realigned my perceptions.
I am so proud of you.
Look how far we have come. Look how open & free and happy our lives have become. Sure, the woods are lovely, dark & deep. But the sun is bright, and there is love all around us. There is love and there is light despite the apparent darkness of any path we choose.
I see your dilemma at this delicate juncture, and I just want to tell you that there is nothing to fear.
Is it okay to kindle a flame or fight it? Is it okay to run away or face your worst fear head on? Is it alright to be a rebel, and is it polite to surrender?
I am okay, you are okay.
What mattered to me most, right after this unexpected exposure to the kind of love that surrounds me & you now, had little to do with the ethics associated with a good life. I mean, it didn’t start that way. It started with the little things that helped me face my fears. Dance, for example. It is a great outlet and I’m glad that I found it through you. I’m glad I found myself through you. To be perfectly honest, I’ve played against my fears for a good part of my life, but until the dancing came through in translation, I think I was always fighting fear by fighting against myself. With you, I learnt for the first time, how to fight fear by loving myself. In the process, I learnt that it makes sense for us to be respectful of emotions of people other than ourselves and those whom we choose to love unconditionally. The express blessing that follows the art of parenting, and the purity of human souls in general.
I also learnt that there is in fact, nothing to fear in this world. There is nothing to change either outside or inside, except maybe for a little nagging voice that says we aren’t enough. Are we enough-enough to run away from everything and still love everyone and still have everyone love us? Yes. Are we enough-enough to surrender to everything, and I mean total surrender, and still not lose each other and find our dreams and the best lives for ourselves without hurting anyone whatsoever in the process and being the best version of ourselves that everyone wants to see in us anyway? Yes. Absolutely, 100% yes. I get this confidence and this faith in people’s best versions of ourselves from you. I tell everyone I speak to about you, that you radiate courage, and that I mean from every part of my existence. I know this because you had faith in me, and I saw myself transform from an ambitious, but generally loud & fearful self to someone who could eventually surrender to the great dance we’re all dancing.
If you decide to move mountains, you will. If you decide to change hearts, you will. If you come with me now, you will make it beautiful, if you wait for me and fulfill everyone’s dreams, you will do it beautifully. With you, I do not see any possibility of failure in life or love or expectations whatsoever.
When I say I love you, I mean that totally and fearlessly. I trust every decision you make, and the decisions of those who love you. So far in life, you have showed me every reason to trust the universe and the best versions of our lives. So choose with an open heart. Change the world, change the country, change the system, make lives better for the animals and the children and the women we really work for, express yourself in dance, live with me, in the mountains, in the valleys, in villages and towns and all by yourself and all by ourselves and with everyone whose life you can make better, because.
You can, you will, and I love you.
I will change the world in my own way, not because there is some lost sense of PR left for me to carry on, not because there is something to fix (I trust the life we live, despite the circumstances) but because I really want to make the world a better place for you and for me and for the legacy we intend to leave behind. I want to work on expressing myself fearlessly, the art of working with people who want to shake industries to improve lives, to create applications that change lives in real time instead of just being numeric benchmarks for trophy collectors, promote healthy lifestyles, free thought, to create content that helps people like that one girl you & I call ‘daughter’. To help the rivers and the land and the hills that you & I call ‘mother’.
Do I want to do it together, with you? Of course, yes, and I know it doesn’t matter whether we bring this change from a distance or from the same office or from the same city or from the same room. When I say I trust you with my life, I trust you with my city, my district, my country, my world, and for all of creation itself. Which puts me in no particular hurry. As far as I am concerned, I have you here in my heart. Behind my eyes. Everything good you do, brings me a smile. Every heart you win, gives me another reason to live.
Which also tells me that no examination is to be feared in life. Just like no choreography is to be feared in life. It has to be approached without fear. To borrow a quote from Noori — Saari Raat — “Hum de chuke wo intehaan, Door jal raha makaan” (Basically Robert Frost-ism in a sweeter-sounding tongue).
After all that we have been through, after all that we now face together, is there really a mountain that looks like a mountain? Or are we all just fish in the ocean, dreaming up really interesting and beautiful lives together?
I leave it in the hands of your loving, fearless imagination. You will always have me, as I always have you, in my life and in my heart. Because you love me and I love you.
Welcome To Fight Club :)